Death

The passing of a relative this very afternoon made me realise something: I cannot accept or face up to death when it comes to people who matters very much to me.

As I watched her lying on the hospital bed, surrounded by family, family who are teary-eyed and clasping her hands and stroking her face and hair, family who neglected lunch just to spend every possible moment by her side, to have every single second possible to memorise her looks, to touch her for the very last time.

She was the same age as my grandmother. As I saw my grandmother broke down and cry as she saw her lying on the bed with tubes going into her body, I thought, "What if this was my own grandmother lying in that bed?". And my mind could not accept that notion. Rejected. Pushed away. Out of the question.

Although I know that we will all die someday, but the thought that one day, not everyone is going to be around, seems absolutely absurd to me. And my mind refuses to wrap around it nor comprehend it at this moment. My entire being absolutely balks at the notion of losing a loved one. And quite honestly, I never want that moment to arrive. Ever.

The Berliner Phiharmoniker Concert

I know I am firmly in the midst of a fierce battle otherwise known as my final exams, but this is one concert I could not say "no" to. It's the BERLINER PHILHARMONIKER!! One of the finest orchestras in the world and most definitely, my favourite. And it is their first time in Singapore.

I'd first learnt of their performance here even before I left for L.A. more than half a year ago. Alas, the affordable tickets were all SOLD OUT by then. I was absolutely flabbergasted and most upset. So when Marcus called me last week and told me he managed to get tickets, I simply pounced.

Words probably could not do this concert justice, but I shall give it my best shot anyway. I could not keep all these inside anymore or I shall simply explode.

The concert was opened with Haydn's Symphony No. 99 in E-flat Major. When the first strains of the violins floated out, my heart simply clutched and my breath hitched in my throat.

Ohhh.

It was so beautiful. Many a times, I'd watched their concerts on Youtube, but nothing, nothing, could ever compare to listening to them live. And I quite simply, fell in love with them all over again.

The Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra is one of the most dynamic orchestras I've ever seen. The musicians really move to the music. I thought the violist looked like he was about to fall off his chair if he moved any more vigorously. I could not help but smile at the sight. But everyone moved together. It was so beautiful. I was absolutely riveted.

Their coordination, synchrony and control were impeccable. Every single pizzicato, every single stroke of the bow, even right down to the portion of the bow used were all in coordination. The dynamics were perfectly executed. Pianissimos, fortissimos, crescendos and decrescendos. It was truly splendid.

And I never knew brasses could sound so loud. And there were not many brasses. The tubist was most impressive. He was the only tubist, yet I could still hear him oh-so clearly.

The second piece was "Three Pieces for Orchestra Op. 6" by Alban Berg. Now that was a really interesting piece of music with the use of a lot of percussion instruments. There was even a use of this hammer which made the most explosive thunderous sound ever. And the third piece concluded with such a resonating, booming and impactful BANG.

The concert closed with Brahms's Symphony No. 2 in D Major Op. 73. I'd never heard of his second symphony before, but I'm not unfamiliar with his first. Although the second wasn't as depressing as the first, I could not help but be reminded of it, for the 1st movement was still very sad. The 3rd movement, however, was most delightfully joyous. And I could not help but move to the cheerful pizzicato by the cellos.

The finale was most impressive and concluded with much grandeur that had the audience on their feet, exploding with great applause and yelling "BRAVO!!". This is the first time I've ever seen a standing ovation in Esplanade Concert Hall. It is most definitely the first time yours truly has ever actually stood up while applauding madly. Oh, and it's also the first time I've ever actually heard someone yell "Bravo!!" in a concert hall. Sure, I've seen it on TV, but never in real life. But it was all well-deserved, for the Berliner Philharmoniker were nothing short of impressive.

For the encore (we simply could not get enough of them), they played a part of "The Nutcracker" by Tchaikovsky. Oh gosh, when the cellos came in, I simply melted into a puddle of human goo. The tone, their movements. It was indescribable.

In the words of Marcus, this concert was, to put it simply, an eargasm. An out-of-the-world experience.

Vienna Boys' Choir

Last Friday, Sabrina and I went for the Vienna Boys' Choir concert at the Esplanade Concert Hall. And it BLEW OUR MINDS!! For the first half of the concert, they had an Asian repertoire with Arabic, Indian, Chinese and many other songs in various languages. And it was like a play because they acted out the scenes, albeit in German (we didn't understand a word of what they were saying, but still, they were extremely adorable!). The second half of the concert was more western, with music by Schubert and Strauss and a couple of more modern songs. The boys were dressed in their traditional sailor's outfit and looked way too cute!

Their voices were simply amazing. Pure and angelic. Projection was fantastic. They were really loud. The tone was so good. It made me melt. I was a boneless puddle of mess in my seat. And we, the audience, simply could not get enough of them. We requested for an encore. And they sang "Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight", a popular song from the 1950s. And it was so SWEET it killed me (I picked up this phrase from James. LOL.) It was just about the most adorable song I've heard them sing! And they were snapping their fingers away whilst singing that song.

Goodnight, sweetheart, well, it's time to go,
Goodnight, sweetheart, well, it's time to go,
I hate to leave you, but I really must say,
Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight.

How adorable is that?!?!! I just about imploded in my seat. When we exited the concert hall, they were selling their CDs just outside. Sabby and I bought them and had the boys autograph it. *squeals*. This is the first time I've ever obtained any autographs! Sabby and I were insanely high that night and we were singing random songs as we made our way back home. It's been too long since we last sang together!

We gotta meet up soon for an insane singing session, Sabby! :D

And now, it's back to my Statistics notes... *sighs*

Leukocytes

There is something not quite right with yours truly at the moment, for she is feeling a mite bit too emotional whilst reading her Cardio textbook. I mean honestly, when you read stuff like "it survives for another 3 to 4 days unless it dies sooner in the line of duty..." and then you read stuff like "a phagocytic cell can ingest only a limited amount of foreign material before it succumbs."

Doesn't it just make you feel so... SAD?! Like those leukocytes are some heroes that protect our dear body from invading pathogens. Not to mention especially when I've been horrifying sick for the past week. It makes me sad thinking about just what I've put my poor leukocytes through.

Sigh.

Sick

It has been a long time since I last felt quite so incapacitated, even in my own home. Certainly, it has been a long time since I last fell quite so ill. For the past 5 days, I've been stuck at home (half the time in bed), battling a serious throat inflammation, which brought about a fever, a hacking cough, body aches and a runny nose.

Even now as I lay on the couch, my laptop is propped up on a cushion atop my tummy. I'm too drained to even feel like sitting upright. I feel like a miserable wreck, who can't stop coughing. I can only pray that the antibiotics I obtained from the doctor yesterday are doing their job well.

Supper

For the first time in 2 years, I went out for supper with my friends from junior college. And it was really nice. I mean, I'm the kind of person who'd stay at home at night and read away like mad, enclosed in my little world of happiness. But last night, I overcame much inertia and left my house for supper!

So the 5 of us (Jon, De Sheng, ZQ, XX and I) headed off to Changi Village for supper. Jon drove us and I thought it was funny that all 5 of us are in possession of a driver's license. There was much joking and laughter during the drive there and for a moment, I felt like I had a social life back, like a college student enjoying a night out with friends.

Anyway, I had dessert, aloe vera and longan. Really yummy. It's been a while since I've had iced desserts like that. XX and ZQ had ice kachang, while Jon ate nasi lemak (late at night!!) and De Sheng had roti john (I think). And we all shared a plate of chili stingray. Ahhh, the joys of local food! I've still yet to have my fill of local food since my return from the U.S. and I was craving for sugar cane drink last night. Unfortunately all the sugar cane drink stalls were already closed. Bummer.

Anyway, to my utmost horror, I'd just discovered that I have a Pharmacology test next week. So, my lecture notes beckon. Au revoir~

Oh and before I go, I came across something on my friend, Elvin's blog, that totally cracked me up.

"The Beginning of Life

Whoever who always wondered why life is so fucked up, probably forgot that the creation of his life started with an orgasm.

O, the reality of life.
HAHAHAHAHA"

*falls off chair laughing* I certainly have a few opinions on that, but for now, I shall just keep them to myself.

Reminisce

It's been nearly a week since I've arrived back home in Singapore. It amazes me how 7 weeks can allow one to form such attachments to a foreign country. I miss the cooling weather in L.A.. I miss walking to classes in UCLA and looking at all the beautiful buildings on the way. I miss grocery shopping at Ralphs and having a chat with the funny guy there who last peeked into my shopping basket and asked what I was going to cook that night. I miss my room back in Saxon Suites which I shared with 4 other room mates. I miss those times where Emma and I would lounge in our living room and listen to songs together. I miss those music sessions we'd had - playing music in Rieber Hall's music room with James, Hideto, Emma and Sandy, and learning how to play the drums from Hideto. This list could go on and on.

I wish I had more time in L.A. I wish I could have watched one more concert at the Hollywood Bowl. There're so many things I've yet to do in L.A. And someday, hopefully, I'll get to go back there again.

And this is me, being all emotional on a rainy morning. I think it's the rain. It makes me emo. Lol.